I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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