Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
should my penis look like a turkey
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
