Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Found your dick twin last night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
