The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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