I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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