Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
did i just pee glitter
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize