Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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