I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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