I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
