so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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