apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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