Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
