He disabled his match.com account in front of me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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