drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
