Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
