my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
