I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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