You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wear drunk well.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
