apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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