the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
