seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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