After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
