I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
