fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
