I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
