Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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