he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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