i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Panties = found
Randomize
