I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
