Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Alive.
So much puke
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
