There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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