so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
