I wish life had little blips of pornography
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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