i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
