Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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