theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize