i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
