i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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