I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
