I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she peed on how many people?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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