i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize