Midget sex pt 2 tonight
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
