'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
