Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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