Soap is not a condiment
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
