Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
