I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
