Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
