so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
