forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
