pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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