Kiss
Puke
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
