I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
