I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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