Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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