speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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