other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
