Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
