we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
