If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
