That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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