through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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